I broke down yesterday. Threw my hands up in despair, cried, panicked and decided it was all over.

I wrote a pathetic email to my ex HR manager, telling her briefly what I had gone through in the months after quitting my job in Feb this year. I told her that I had a lot invested into this last IVF, and that I was at the end of my rope. I said that I understand that the company need not base its decisions on my needs, but I really need to know how to move forward now. I even said if I could not figure the insurance bit out fairly quickly within a few days, I was going to have to cancel my IVF because I can’t fight any more.

I couldn’t sleep till late into the night – I was so stressed with the mess that we were in.

I woke up this morning a little more calm. Some of my fighting spirit seemed to be back. Deep breath – ok, let’s figure this out. It’s a shock alright, but we’ve dealt with so much, we will deal with this too.

My HR manager (ex) called me this morning and was in tears. She said she did not realize how much I had gone through, and will personally do what it takes to help me through. She told me to proceed with the IVF – she will work with both the insurance companies and figure out and tell me the smoothest way to transition.

Tori – thanks for your suggestion about the continuity of care – you rock! I asked my HR lady. She said the new company had not offered it in their discussions so far, but she will talk to them personally on Monday morning and come back to me.

She said she wants me to talk to CCRM and see if they are under network for the new company. (CCRM’s website does not list their name, but their website lists Dr Schoolcraft’s name.) Once I find that out, I will tell her, and she will work with the new insurance company and make sure there is no lapse / problem in my treatment.

I am feeling a little more confident now. Like some of you suggested, I will talk to CCRM and see if we can order more medication now itself, or order refills asap.

For anything that is falling out of network, or cannot get pre-approved, we will probably pay ourselves and figure out getting re-imbursed later.

I am so fortunate to HAVE coverage in the first place. I should not let the inconvenience of administrative glitches throw me off track. I am re-grouping my thoughts, putting together my to-do list for Monday, putting all my questions in place to figure out how to work through this.

Possible blessing in disguise? Random thought here – what if with the new insurance, I get 4 more IVFs covered? When I joined my job, the insurance covered 4 fresh IVFs. I did one, and my company changed insurance carriers. My count automatically got re-set. I got 4 more. So far we had done 3 of those and the 4th one was coming up now.

DH and I are wondering if this is God’s way of saying “OK, you guys are fighters, and I know I’ve given you a tough road on this, so here are 4 more cycles.”

God, I hope I don’t need 4 more cycles, but it is a comforting thought that I may get the coverage. Wishful thinking perhaps, but hey, hoping is what has brought us so far, hasn’t it?