When we first started trying to conceive - way back in 2001, and when we realized the going wasn't all a bed of roses, I started lurking on a lot of message boards, trying to understand if we were timing things right, if there were things we were missing. 

I used to hang out on the "Just Starting Out" boards, well, not "hang out", but lurk mostly. I was too shy to talk about my failed attempts at trying to get pregnant. It was such a private matter. How could I discuss what happens in my bedroom with an internet full of strangers? 

Many people would talk about this book called Taking Charge of your Fertility - they swore by it, and it was like a TTC bible of some sorts. Written by Toni Weschler, it talks about managing your fertility - charting temperatures, tracking CM, cervical position etc. So for someone that can actually get pregnant on their own, this is a good book to have / read. 

I was a naive, innocent hopeful then. Little did I know that I was going to grow into someone who is infertile by even infertile standards. The joys of innocence! :-) I bought the book in 2001. The first page has my name and "2001" written on it. I read it, learnt a lot from it, but nothing happened. Over the years, the book got put away and forgotten in the bookshelves somewhere. 

Then a few years ago, one of our friends was talking about seeing a doctor. She and her husband were trying to get pregnant, and it wasn't working. I thought of this book and went looked for it, and lent it to her. She returned it a few months later saying she was pregnant. She had a son. 

A short while after that, another friend was in panic mode. And by that I mean complete panic mode "We have been trying for 7 months, I think we should talk to a doctor about doing IVF, nothing is working!!!!" She even took her husband to see a doctor about doing IVF. The doctor had a sense of humor, and made them sit through a presentation of the IVF process. That scared them into going home and trying on their own again. I lent her this book. She too has a son now. 

A third couple had been trying for a while. The girl had also seen a doctor, and had gone through an HSG. She was supposed to meet the doctor after her HSG to get started on treatment. I had lent my book to them a few months ago. They have returned it to me with a pregnancy announcement. I don't know if she's having a son yet. 

All these people probably would have got pregnant without having borrowed this book from me. But I choose to believe the book is lucky. I don't know it the contents did the trick, or just the book itself. 

I've been joking about this book and telling everyone that it has brought luck to everyone I have lent it to. One hundred percent - all 3 couples! Unfortunately the luck works only when I lend the book out. It doesn't seem to work with me!! My friend who returned the book this time said she was returning it in the hope that the book would work its magic on me as well.  

The book is lying here. I don't know if it's working it's magic. I don't know if it has any magic to work. Because honestly, all those couples would probably have got pregnant on their own anyway. But I hope it has magic. And I hope some of its magic is flying around us right now. 

God - anything to make this cycle work!!

I'm waiting for the PGD results. They haven't called, and now I don't think they will call today any more. It will be Monday / Tuesday before I know anything. I'm trying to hang in there. Some hours go past quicker than the others! 

A couple of random rants - the counter on my blog stopped working. I have no idea why. And I don't know why, but it's bothering me! Anyone know how to fix it? 

The plant we had planted on my baby's due date (the picture on my profile picture) is all brown and dry. We got back from CO and noticed it all dried up. We're trying to revive it, but I'm heart broken, and really scared it won't revive. It was fine and then suddenly it's gone. There were a few cold waves, I don't know if that's what did it. It's our "tribute to our lost babies" plant, and I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't sprout green again!! Any tips people? I'm not particularly green thumbed, but we have plenty of plants, and we do manage to keep them alive! 

Update - Never mind. The counter is back. On its own. After showing up as a ? for over a week! I should have whined about it earlier! :-)