My post title sounds like "Crouching tiger, hidden dragon" or something! 

Well - here we are. Lining is still at 4.9!!! I don't know what the f*** is going on now. We walked out of there today - not feeling angry or disappointed or upset or anything. Both DH and I are feeling tired and resigned. I don't have the stamina to keep plowing on anymore. 

I'm tired of making plan B all the time, and then having to follow plan B because plan A never works out! I'm tired of putting my life on hold and living on weekly installments from one appointment to another, from one shot to another, from one disappointment to another. In the process we are wiping out our savings, and creating another crisis in our lives. 

The nurse called from CCRM and said Dr Surrey reviewed my case today as Dr Schoolcraft wasn't in. Dr. Su wants to give it another week. He apparently had a "difficult" patient like me, and her lining grew eventually. I told the nurse I didn't want to wait a week before knowing the outcome, so we decided to do an u/s on Monday next week instead of Thursday. 

On Monday, if my lining is still hanging where it is, she is talking to Dr Schoolcraft and we're taking a final decision. Dr Sch will be in on Monday. 

I don't even know how to react now. The ONLY reason I have agreed to try this one last time is because I have all the drugs available at home, so there's no extra effort or expense or craziness involved. 

No I'm not upset or anything, even now. I'm just plain fed up. Sick and tired, fed up and ready to move on with my life. I'm turning 38 in a few days. I NEVER thought this is how my life would be 8 years ago when we started out TTC.