It's been a year since I saw double lines on a pee stick. Last year, June 15, the day before my beta - I POASed, and had fantastic dark double lines.

It also happened to be Father's Day, and for once, the day meant more than just calling and wishing our dads in India. We went out to lunch, smiling ear to ear, barely able to contain our little secret. Only, our little secret was growing in a place it shouldn't have been. We didn't know that. Over the next few weeks, life went upside down - yet again.......

I still have those pee sticks. I can't bear to throw them away. What if I never see double on a pee stick again? What if Father's Day and Mother's Day will always just remain days when we are children wishing our parents?

From then till now - we have not been able to complete our next and our last and final IVF cycle. It's been the longest cycle ever! I somehow feel more confident and comfortable thinking my blasts are lying frozen, than I would if I were in my 2ww!! Frozen blasts symbolize hope. Man, I sound so pathetic now, don't I?